London workshop 8/3/21

Hello, I attended Jerrys London workshop on Saturday at the Raddison Heathrow. When I booked on it was sold as being 45 people 12-6pm (arriving for 11.15am)
When we arrived & was waiting it was clear that there was a lot more people than originally stated.
Then when Jerry spoke he told us that they got a bigger room & could over double the amount of people , he was great & said that the session can go on longer til 7pm to accommodate that & that he also will stay behind for 2 hours to talk through what we can do once we leave after the session.
I completely understand that schedules change but I wanted to make you aware of how this effected me so you could bare it in mind for the future.
I have followed Jerry for years & it’s been my absolute dream to meet him & do one of his workshops but as a single mum of 2 children with additional needs the costing & childcare has been a big block.
One this occasion I was gifted the place & there was 3 of us who came. I couldn’t believe it & was so so excited. I managed to arrange childcare for the hours I would be & allowed a little extra but said I would be home by 7pm to put my youngest to bed as she has rituals that only I am allowed to do with her.
I suffer with extreme anxiety, PTSD & server claustrophobia which means I can not be in big crowds of people. So when over 100 people was closed into the workshop room I already went into panic mood , then when Jerry says about it running over by those hours it sent me into over drive as I knew I didn’t have my phone to alert home about being that late.
I managed only 1 hour of the workshop before I started having a huge panic attack & had to run to the ladies where I was violently sick for a long time , my panic attack escalated & I had to sit on the floor in there as I felt so dizzy & faint.
I battled with myself for an hour trying to get the strength to go back in but I just couldn’t as the fear had completely taken over me & I was not in my right mind.
I did not want to ruin the experience for my 2 friends that were still in there or anyone else so I decided to leave.
We had all come together so I had no way of getting home & I still couldn’t stop being sick.
I ended up getting a taxi to the airport where I had to wait over an hour to get a bus which then took 2 hours to get to my home town where my mum came to collect me. By the time I got home I was shaking so much I could barely walk.
Since then I have not been able to stop crying. I am absolutely full of trauma from years of abuse & traumatic life events that happened to me & when doing the breath work it brought it straight up (I know this is what was meant to happen) but because I left I’m very worried that I’m now stuck with it as I’m never emotional like this but honestly can not stop crying.
Is there anything I can do please? I am beyond disappointed in myself for not being strong enough to do this workshop as I believe in it 100% & want/needed it. It’s left me in a very bad state of depression, I have never been so low.
Any help would be appreciated thanks & I hope that the feedback will help anyone in a similar position to me in the future. Lots of love Carly x

asd